Final Freedom
by Luca Lumaris
Summary: After recieving a letter from Harry, Remus finds himself facing his feelings about the death of a certain person. OOTP SPOILERS!


A/N: Well, welcome to the first fic I've written in a VERY long time. I know I'm rusty, and this jumps around a bit and goes a wee too fast, but it's a start I guess. I was utterly amazed at how few of these sorts of fics were floating about after book 5 came out that I simply HAD to do something about that.  
  
Disclaimer: Neither Harry Potter nor the characters and plot thereof belong to me. They all belong to their wonderful creator, JK Rowling.  
  
Final Freedom  
  
It's only been a week since the end of the term. I can't believe I'm sitting here already, all my old picture books out and splayed about the room, nearly ready to cry my eyes out. Damn Harry and his keeping his promise. The instant the owl arrived at the window with that fated letter, I just knew something awful would come of it. It's still sitting in front of me, amongst the romping figures from days past.  
  
Dear Remus,  
You asked me to keep in touch, so I'm... keeping in touch. Hope you're all right. I'm fine. Well, um, see you soon I guess.  
Sincerely,  
Harry  
  
Damn the boy and his. existence. I'd tried so hard to forget, just to pretend everything was still all right, Sirius was just off somewhere. He'd be back soon, really, he would. He'd come home, happy and exhausted from his adventures, just like he used to so many years ago. But no, the letter brought me back to reality. Harry is in hiding. Voldemort is back. And Sirius, my Padfoot, my newly rediscovered heart, is gone. There, I've said it. He's gone. I can feel my heart wrenching as I leaf through old pictures from school. There's Sirius, flouncing about, making a clown of himself, shaggy hair all about his face. Nothing like the face I remember recently. That haunted shadow was absent from his eyes then, they were free to sparkle and smile without check.  
  
I'm sure James' boy is feeling it too. The gaping chasm in your soul left when a loved one departs. I almost want to comfort him, but I know that would only bring me more pain. It hurts to look at him now, the son of my deceased friend, godson of my passed lover. He'll never know the way it was between Sirius and I. it was to be Sirius's job to tell him, when the time came. I couldn't bear to break it to Harry now.  
  
I feel so selfish. Am I not aware that Sirius is neither the first nor the last casualty of this war? Here I am moping about like some sappy old fool (perhaps I am a sappy old fool, after all) when I should be out helping, doing everything I can to avenge him. After all, does anyone else really need to feel all this pain? Surely not, not if I can help it. Yes, Sirius Black's death will be avenged, no doubt can remain about that. Bellatrix Lestrange, that woman will die. Preferably at my hands, the hands of a werewolf who loved another man; ah, the poetic justice. A Death Eater killed by one of those she so hated. I can almost laugh at the thought.  
  
I've come to a picture of our group at graduation. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, & Prongs, the legendary quartet, the Marauders! How broken we've become; one turned traitor, two dead, one at the hand of his friend and the other at that of his cousin, and one old, broken, and shut away. If only we could have foreseen this... this horrible fate that has crept upon us and the entire wizarding world. Maybe the world wouldn't seem so blanketed in hatred and hopelessness. Perhaps I wouldn't be left here, cold and alone. I miss his strong arms, his comforting caress, his warm lips. His smell is fading from our room, even my werewolf senses can hardly pick out a molecule of that familiar, comforting odor. I'm so afraid to forget, so afraid to let go. But then, it's likely better this way. He's finally gotten what he's wanted for so many years; Sirius Black, my best friend, my Padfoot, has finally gotten his freedom.  
  
~~fin~~  
  
P.S.- I'm always game for constructive criticism or praise, but flames are not appreciated. If you flame, you will be emailed back just as nastily as you flamed. 


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